How Death Gave Me Life
by Kimmie Rose Zapf

Have you ever wondered why you belong to a certain family? Chose a certain career? Or live where you live? Have you ever asked yourself why you chose to experience life a certain way, as opposed to the way others do? Do you ever ask yourself, "What is my purpose?"

Most of us don't ask these questions until something in our life challenges us. We all arrive at that point in each and every lifetime. This story is about my "moment in time" that allowed me to Wake Up and Remember who I am. It happened when I was 39 years old. Ironically, life handed me death - and death gave me life in a matter of seconds.

I was very busy being a wife, mother of five, and running three businesses. However, I was not too busy to know that I had to finish writing a book I had been working on for 10 years.

I don't know if it was because my youngest child was turning 4, or my oldest was moving out; or the fact that I was turning 40, that compelled me to finish my book. All I knew was that I had to do it so I could continue the journey I was on. I was so focused on that journey that I forgot to rest, and found myself in what I would describe as "a whirlwind of purpose." I was so high on purpose that I forgot to feel my self. My family and friends noticed the dark circles under my eyes and how I had to sink to my knees when it was hot, because I felt my heart pounding through my chest. They asked me to go to the doctor and find out what was wrong. My answer was always the same, "I don't have time. I have too much to do. I need to finish my book so I can get out and share my message about how people can Wake Up."

It sounds ironic, doesn't it? Me - having a message to share about remembering, when I was being forgetful. Weeks went by and I got weaker each day, until, one day, I backed out of my driveway and hit a truck parked a few feet away. I had hit the truck so hard that the paint on my van came completely off the bent frame. I stood there just staring at it, not knowing what happened. I got down on my knees and told God to hold off for a few weeks - I didn't have time to be sick. I thought, if I can just control the sickness or dis-ease in me, I can keep going. I would visualize it inside a bottle - and it couldn't affect me until I was done. I had it all figured out - I would spend 14 hours a day working, play with the kids 3 hours, have dinner, and then sleep 4-5 hours.

One day my mom and best friend threatened to cancel my appointments with clients if I didn't go to the doctor. But my "can't-let-other-people-down" mode kicked in. Finally, after blacking out at a baseball game, I went for a checkup. The doctor asked me where I found the energy to get up in the morning with a hemoglobin count of 6 and iron count of 10. I laughed and said, "I gotta keep going." Suddenly a voice in my head said, "Stop and listen." Then I took it seriously. I was told to have an iron transfusion.

A few days later, as I walked into the cancer center to have my transfusion, I felt surrounded by such tranquility and peace. This peace felt different - very still. As I watched the cancer patients, I saw something unusual in their eyes and wondered if I could experience that peace within myself. Suddenly, I my body grew hot, as if a furnace was inside me. I looked at my mom, and said, "I…don't...feel....right..." and began to travel down a funnel similar to those you see in a store in which a penny placed on top takes a long circuitous journey to the bottom. I dropped into a space that had no boundaries. I seemed to be everywhere. I began to feel the presence of everyone within me and around me, and me in them. This presence was full of so much love and connection. I spontaneously dropped into what some call nirvana, or heaven. I call it Divine Time. Divine Time is the exact moment when we experience who we are. I was love - the Creator/God was in me, and I in He. Then, suddenly I found myself coming back to the room as the nurses revived me. I took a breath and just smiled, and said, "I am exactly who I need to be, where I need to be, and blessed to know myself."

That night, after my mother drove me home, I sat at my computer to write. I wanted to share my experience with others. But I heard a voice say, "sleep," so I went to bed. I rested for two days. On the second day, I went to bed and found myself in a lucid dream, or what I call a Waking State. In front of me was a fire - a bush burning - and it was speaking to me. I was surprised, and felt compelled to listen. The vibration was eternal, filled with peace and surrounded by love. Then, the bush spoke and said, "Teach people that we are one." I looked at it and said, "We are one." Out of my mouth came the words, "I already do that." Again, I heard it say, "Teach People That We Are One."

Right then, I knew I wanted to live my purpose. I made/remembered the agreement that was given to me and set out on a mission to teach people this process. I received guidance and messages to finish my book, and was given pages of information. In my heart, I knew I was home. I knew that home was within me. I understood that within me exists everything - the past, present, and future - in one moment, and that moment was now. It didn't matter how much money I had, what my job was, or where I lived. I trusted exactly where I was in the moment. I was given The Process of Waking Up to share with others. It is a process in which we can all experience this state of unity within ourselves and amongst ourselves.

After two days of visions, I got on my computer at 3 a.m. and found a Web site that enabled me to start a project. I took my credit card out and filed the paperwork to start "The Bless You Project." My friends thought I was crazy spending money on something to "Bless" people, when I have five children to support, but faith brought me to this project.

Since that early morning revelation, I have had people volunteer to help me create a book called The Bless You Book. Patch Adams also contributed to this book, which is full of little tear-out coupons - for example, one of the Bless You coupons says, "Bless You for taking the time to show me you care." These can be left wherever you go to help people feel loved. I was told that if people are blessed, we could end depression, suicide, murder, and other tragedies. A Web site is being created (go to theblessyouproject.com) so people from all over the world can reach out and make a difference in each other's lives. A day will be set aside next year for people to gather worldwide and Bless one another.

I have seen miracles occur, such as being blessed with a blood transfusion. My 18-year-old son and my mother gave this gift of blood to me. I know this message can help people the way it did me. Most important, know that no matter what is happening in your life, peace is the innermost core of who you are. Open your heart to the magic that exists within you and live each day awake!

BIO: Kimmie Rose Zapf is an internationally renowned intuitive and CBS internet radio host, living in Michigan. She is a practicing hypnotherapist, a licensed minister, life coach, and author of three books. Her new book, Wake Up Your Intuition, is available from A.R.E. at 1-800-333-4499.
Venture Inward Magazine
July/August 2008